Friday, 22 March 2019
Thursday, 21 March 2019
Are We There Yet?
"Kids are so impatient when going on holiday, aren't they? "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" I said "Look, let Mummy finish pulling off the drive first"."
Wednesday, 20 March 2019
Caravans and Gardening...
"My neighbour's a gardening fanatic. Going on holiday's not a problem. Even his caravan's got a greenhouse hooked on the back."
Tuesday, 19 March 2019
This Technological Age...
"I'm quite lacking technologically. Banking, theatre tickets, booking flights, shopping - there's no limit to what I can't do on the internet..."
Monday, 18 March 2019
Went to the Travel Agent...
"I went to the Travel Agent to look into going on one of these activity holidays. It was no good. Apparently they don't class drinking all day as an activity..."
Sunday, 17 March 2019
Risk of Injury...
"My wife constantly worries that I'll injure myself with equipment I use around the house. No need. Its only a bottle-opener for goodness sake..."
Saturday, 16 March 2019
Paperless Society Problem...
" We're working towards a paperless society at the office. It does have its difficulties though. I had to really struggle to convince them to let me have a toilet roll for the gents."
Friday, 15 March 2019
Online Banking...
"I recently got into trouble with the police for my online banking activity. Apparently it doesn't extend to printing your own bank notes."
Thursday, 14 March 2019
Baby-Changing Facilities
"We went to the new department store because we heard they have baby-changing facilities. In the end, we decided to keep the one we've already got."
Air Bags...
"Last week I had a worrying text from my partner. It said "First the good news - the car air-bags work perfectly...""
Wednesday, 13 March 2019
Signs in an Art Gallery...
"I spent a couple of hours in the contemporary section of an art gallery recently. They have a sign pointing left which says "Way Out", and another, pointing the opposite way, which says "Not So Way Out."
Tuesday, 12 March 2019
The Kids' Friends Had a Sleepover
"I don't usually mind when our kids' friends come to stay, although it was a bit of a strain that time the old lady who lived in a shoe's children had a sleepover."
Monday, 11 March 2019
Wife Stands Motionless in the Kitchen
"Found the wife standing perfectly still in the kitchen earlier. Apparently she'd just followed a recipe which said, "After cooking, stand for ten minutes"
Sunday, 10 March 2019
Wife Wants More Fun in our Marriage...
"The wife said she'd like a bit more fun in our marriage, so I went out and bought a clown outfit."
Inflatable Barmaid
"I've just been down to the local home brew store. I said I'm looking for something hoppy with a nice body, so they gave me a one-legged blow-up barmaid doll."
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